Embrace the power of a cuddle

Touch is one of those fundamental human needs that we sometimes forget just how important it is.

We're leading busy lives, we're often isolated - connecting with people online, our sexual encounters can often be transactional.

Sometimes, when we we think we're looking for sex, what we're actually craving is intimacy.

Intimacy comes in a range of forms, but at its heart is touch - feeling a physical connection with another person in a way that makes you feel seen, makes you feel safe, and makes you feel nurtured.

Cuddle Therapy

There are sex-workers and other health professionals out there who provide one-on-one "cuddle therapy" services. There are also group sessions which are often described as a "cuddle exchange". But it's also something that we can incorporate into our day-to-day interactions with friends - just by being a bit more aware of the power and importance of intimate touch.

Cuddle therapy isn't about sex. Obviously, it can be - physical intimacy before, after, or during a sexual encounter can be really important. But you can also experience the benefits physical touch without connecting it to your sexual energy.

Benefits of Cuddle Therapy

There's not a huge amount of research out there, but proponents of the power of touch believe that non-sexual physical intimacy can play a key role in our health and well-being - relieving anxiety, strengthening our immune system, and reducing physical and emotional stress.

If you're experiencing sexual dysfunction - or not feeling satisfied through your sexual encounters - the underlying issues such as anxiety or stress may be something that can be addressed through cuddle therapy. Boosting the level of non-sexual physical intimacy in your day-to-day life may enable you to have better sex.

How to cuddle

There's really no rules in how to do this, but here's some things to think about:

Find a "cuddle buddy"

If you're wanting to explore non-sexual cuddle therapy, the starting point is to find a "cuddle buddy".

This might be someone that you already know - a friend, or a fuck-buddy. Or you could put it out there on the various apps or platforms.

Set the intention

You both need to be on the same page - if one person is expecting non-sexual intimacy but the other is assuming that you'll be getting naked and having sex at some point, then that could get awkward.

Communicate clearly with each other about why you're getting together and what's going to go down.

Create the space

You need to be able to be totally relaxed. The temperature needs to be right, the lighting needs to be right, the music needs to be right.

Try and avoid the bedroom. A comfortable sofa might work, but a really good option is to create a space on the floor. Use lots of cushions and pillows to make a comfortable space that gives you maximum flexibility as to how you position yourselves.

Get comfortable

You're looking to maximise skin-to-skin contact, so getting naked is a good option.

However, if you're wanting to ensure that you're not giving any mixed signals about making the focus of the session non-sexual physical intimacy, you may opt to keep your underwear on as a way of keeping a lid on the sexual energy in the room.

Vary your positions

There's a lot more to cuddling than just wrapping your arms around each other. Don't rush anything, but explore which positions feel most comfortable for you both.

Use your body-weight on each other. Nuzzle your face into his neck. Stroke his ears.

Don't be selfish in your cuddling. You might really enjoy being "little spoon" but cuddling works best when you're both giving and receiving intimacy.