What if we combined masturbation with mindfulness?
Let's get to grips with this important topic.
Okay, I admit that I am quite prone to tooting my own horn the Masturbation & Mindfulness events are going very well.
This latest session focused on porn and celebrated the role that porn plays in fuelling our bate. We started off by talking about porn - what we like, what gets us off - and then we moved into showing each other examples of the porn that turns us on and gets us off. That helped to build the sexual energy in the room and got everyone in the zone.
What was interesting and - to me - a little unexpected was that the porn quickly became secondary to the shared energy between the guys in the room. The porn was still playing on the screen, but everyone was watching each other - turned on by the men around them as opposed to the porn stars on the laptop.
Overall, a total success!
What are Masturbation & Mindfulness events?
The Masturbation and Mindfulness sessions are part of the series of events that I'm organising as part of my podcast, Naked Men Talking.
While I'm always experimenting with slight variations to the format, the general framework is that we start in t-shirts/underwear. We begin with some breathing exercises, connecting with our bodies, removing our clothing, and leaning into the sexual energy in the room as we got to stroking.
These aren't sex parties - no one is touching anyone else apart from themselves. There's no pressure or expectation about having to have sex with other guys - there's no anxiety of rejection.
There's something really powerful about small-group communal masturbation. I honestly think it's something that we all need to be doing more of. I am absolutely serious.
When is the next Masturbation & Mindfulness event?
The next event is scheduled for Sunday 2 February.
Registration for this event is via NakedMates.
The Dick Diaries: Circle-jerk crew
Chronicling a catalogue of cocks.
Ways to add mindfulness to your masturbation
Break your patterns of behaviour
If you usually masturbate in a certain spot or in a certain way, try something new - explore different ways to jack-off. Have you jacked off outside? Have you jacked off blindfolded? Have you jacked off using your left hand? Experience different things.
Make an appointment with your penis.
Block out some dedicated time for your masturbation. This enables you to ensure that you don't have to rush things, that you're not going to be disturbed. It's just you and your hard cock having some quality time together
Explore your body
Start your stroke session with a self-massage. As you're masturbating, don't forget about all of the erogenous zones beyond your cock. Pay particular attention to your nipples and your anus - these parts of your body are hard-wired into the pleasure-receptors in your brain.
Let your imagination loose
As you're masturbating, fantasise about different things. Don't restrain yourself, there are no limits when you're fantasising, there are no taboos. Use your masturbation as an opportunity to explore different aspects your sexual experience and your sexual desires.
Listen to your penis
Different things will feel good at different times. Maybe you need a lot of lube, maybe you don't. Maybe you want fast strokes, maybe you want slow and steady. Figure out what is going to maximise your pleasure in that moment.
Tap into your sexual energy
It's a bit of a nebulous term but your sexual energy is a combination of physical and psychological factors that is the driving force of the sexual act. As you become aroused, your heart-rate increases, your body temperature increases, your senses will be heightened. As you masturbate, try and tune into those physical sensations but also how you're experiencing the world around you in that moment. Sexual energy is often described as a creative energy - a way of unlocking our full potential if we can really connect with it.
Talk about masturbation
Share your experience of masturbation with other men - whether that's fuck-buddies, friends, or guys that you connect with online. Talking about masturbation is an important way of normalising jacking off, but it's also part of the experience - building communal sexual energy with other men is really powerful.
Why is it important to talk about masturbation?
Most of us get lumbered with a lot of shame surrounding masturbation – leading to patterns of behaviour that can really limit the pleasure of jacking off.
Talking about masturbation and celebrating it is a great way to de-stigmatise something that is an essential and normal part of our sexual expression and our basic needs as humans.
How to explore different way to masturbate
Use sex toys and butt plugs
Sex toys are a useful way to change the dynamic of your bate session. If you’re new to using gay sex toys, start with something simple like a butt plug. Butt plugs are designed to go in your anus and provide extra stimulation are particularly good for a bit of prostate stimulation.
Butt plugs come in various sizes – it’s a good idea to start small and build up to the longer and girthier models. If you want something that vibrates, there are also vibrating butt plugs that can add an extra element of fun.
Treat yourself to some quality lube
Lube is an essential part of solo play – it can help reduce friction and make your experience more pleasurable.
There are a variety of lube formulas on the market – experiment with different options until you find your favourite.
One key difference is water-based lube versus silicone-based lube. Water-based is easier when it comes to clean-up, but silicone-based lube will last longer and deliver a smoother ride.
Fuel your fantasies
Visual stimulation is a really common way to motivate your masturbation. If porn is your go-to strategy, try and mix things up a bit so you don't develop static patterns that limit your experience of pleasure.
How to connect with bate buddies
While a solo jack-off is pleasure in its purest form, getting a helping hand from a bate-buddy is always fun.
Let’s look at some ways to make that happen.
Arrange a Circle Jerk
A circle jerk is when a group of guys masturbate together.
You don’t need much more than just some eager participants to arrange a circle jerk. There’s something really primal about jacking off with a group of guys – you can feel the sexual energy in the room.
Get competitive
This is ideal for Masturbation Month, but you can obviously do it at any time of the year. Get your friends and hookups involved. Set everyone a challenge – something like a masturbation marathon where you keep score of how many times you’ve jacked off during the month or in a 24-hour period. The guy who jacks off the most, wins!
Or maybe it’s an edging challenge – who can goon and bate the longest without pushing themselves over the edge and blowing their load? Get creative with it.
Log on to video chat-rooms
Take it online and share your bate with other guys. Whether it's a virtual circle jerk or you're tapping into your exhibitionist kink and putting on a show. Turn your camera on, grease up, and get to work.
Head to a bathhouse
Bathhouses and saunas are great places to find other guys to jerk off with. Everyone is wearing a towel at most, there's plenty of different spaces to explore, there's generally porn playing somewhere, and the sexual energy is pumping.
A celebration of masturbation
Obviously we can - and do - masturbate any and every day of the year, but you'll probably have heard people talking about May as masturbation month.
Why is May designated as Masturbation Month? Alliteration is fun! Men masturbate most in May, maybe?
Designating May as Masturbation Month isn’t a new thing – the illustrious history of these celebrations can be traced back for at least 20 years but no one really knows how or why it started.
It's possible that Masturbation May emerged as a direct challenge to the nonsense that is No Nut November. While there hasn’t been any research that suggests that abstinence helps with your overall health, there is plenty of evidence that confirms that wanking is good for you. Anyone that suggests that there’s some kind of benefit from not masturbating is talking out of their ass. Anyone who suggests that masturbating is somehow bad for you is actively promoting shame and is compromising the mental health of young men.
Whatever, I'm here for any opportunity to talk about and celebrate jack-off joy, so that makes May a pretty magical time of year, right?
Men are massive masturbators, and that’s marvellous!
The Dick Diaries
Chronicling a catalogue of cocks.
