Valentine’s Day? Like anyone cares about that rubbish. Right?

Obviously, Valentine's Day is just a made up thing that doesn't mean anything. But it can fuck with your head - especially if you're single.

If you’re in a relationship of some kind, there’s clearly going to be a bit of pressure to lean into a romantic gesture or at least spend a bit of quality time together.

But what if you're single? I'm single. Valentine's Day fucks with my head.

I’ve been single on Valentine’s Day before. I was single last Valentine’s Day as well. This isn’t something new. I’m good with being single. But what you don't want to be doing on a cold wintry night in February is sitting at home eating take-out for one while your social media feeds are blowing up with loved-up couples living their best lives. Trust me, I love take-out for one but it's not the vibe on Valentine's Day.

While it might feel like some kind late-stage capitalism made-up marketing ploy, Valentine’s Day isn’t a new thing. It began as a feast day for a martyred saint – the Feast of Saint Valentine was formally adopted into the calendar of the Christian church in AD 496, about 200 years after Saint Valentine of Rome had met his untimely end.

While there are references to romance and relationships in connection with Saint Valentine in the years that followed, it was the dilettantes of 18th-century England that most clearly articulated the romantic aspects of the Feast of Saint Valentine. Wealthy people with time on their hands sent flowers and gifts to the objects of their affections.

Hollywood romances have obviously help flesh out the mythology and aspirations of what we think Valentine's Day should look like, but the reality is that – once again – the blame lies with the English.

While I can’t find any primary sources to back this up, I’d like to think that one of the tools of oppression that our queer forefathers were fighting against in the early days of gay liberation was Valentine’s Day. Sure, the men of the Mattachine Society were looking for assimilation, but the queer counter-culture movements of the 1970s must have seen Valentine’s Day for the heteronormative nonsense that it clearly is.

How am I, a grown gay man, in 2025, even remotely concerned about a random night in February which is primarily about ensuring the continued supply of sufficient consumers to keep the GDP growing?

Did all those people die at Stonewall for nothing?

The obvious answer - if you're a single guy wondering how best to navigate Valentine's Day - is to do something. Ideally, you get together with some other single friends and figure out something fun to do. Maybe you cook dinner together, maybe you go day-drinking, maybe you organise a circle-jerk. Some sort of group activity is a good move.

I'm feeling quite pleased with myself because this year my friend Emi (who is single) has organised a cooking class on Valentine's Day. It's a naked cooking class, a group of 15 guys, and he's hosting it at my flat. Honestly, that ticks all of my Valentine's Day boxes.

Whatever your relationship status, do your best to not let Valentine's Day fuck with your head. If you do end up at home alone with a take-out for one, that's cool, but you're probably going to want to steer clear of social media for a bit.